Glued!

Just a little while ago, I decided that I just had to glue something...and I'm not going to tell you what, because then I will look like a dumb blonde... OK! OK! My fake plastic french manicure toenail had to be re-glued onto a toe. It had fallen off the other day, and it looked dumb without one on it. All my other toes were real pretty, so it was calling out to me...Bob, Bob, make me pretty! I know. I know. Vanity...thy name is Woman! But...I was BORN with ugly toenails and fingernails. (that's my excuse & reasoning- don't criticize) Thank goodness for acrylics! So now I can go to the beach or wear sandals in public and not have hideous looking toes! I swear to God, there were little kids that used to run from me in terror when they saw my toenails. So to get back to my story (long-winded, ain't I? but, just trying to set up the "mood" of the narrative) I had picked up the Krazy Glue...(here it comes...wait for it...) Krazy Glue, and tipped it upside down to squirt JUST a LITTLE out onto my tiny toe. And the dispenser explodes. Yeah. Right. You guessed it. Krazy glue all over. Oh no. Hubby's gonna be POd. All over my clothes, all over my...whoops! All over my HANDS! All over EVERYTHING! The next thing I knew, my pants are Krazy glued to my legs. My shirt is Krazy glued to my boobs. My shoe is Krazy glued to the toilet seat. My other foot Krazy glued to the floor. All my fingers of both hands are Krazy glued to each other. My toes on my left foot are Krazy Glued to each other AND the shoe. My hand is Krazy glued to the toe still holding the fake nail, my other hand is hardening up but still unrestrained! Oh gosh. What do I do? I'M STUCK! And then I gotta pee! Cuz of course, what do you have to do when you are in the bathroom???? So, then I start to see the dumb/funny side of it and start giggling. But when you start giggling, you start laughing, and tears are running out of my eyes, and I reach up to rub away the tears, and my other hand drenched in Krazy glue gets securely stuck to my cheek! The dog wakes up, drags herself off her bed, and walks into the bathroom to see what is going on. oh no. OH NO, Isabelle, Stop! Now the DOG walks into the Krazy glue on the FLOOR! The dog is stuck and starts whining, I'm giggling more, and peeing myself! And you know what? During all of this...I was irritated that there was nobody around to take a picture of this...so I could scrap it.