While Surfing Through the Web One Day

While wandering around the web the other day, I came upon two things that were rather odd. In doing research for a digital layout, I came across the unusual information that previous to 1972, BIRTH CONTROL was AVAILABLE ONLY to MARRIED PEOPLE. Can you possibly comprehend that it has only been 34 years since women... married or single... have been able to make those choices for themselves? How astonishing that with the advances in modern technology that our nation is even considering asking us to go and live in the dark ages again...to take the freedom of CHOICE away from us. The other oddity was www.shopinprivate.com, as they have several unusual things that might be purchased from the privacy of your own home, without the rude stares or comments from others. ***The following is for adults*** If you are a kid, it will probably disgust you! And send you screaming from the room. One was Anal Bleaching Cream. I can only wonder who would know (besides your intimate partner...) HOW you would need this item. Does one put their head between their legs and look down there to determine the texture and color? Or perhaps the conversation from the boyfriend..."hey, Hon. Your butt's kinda dark" Or are girls really THAT concerned about the color of the boyfriend's behind? "Sweetie, i got you something "special" for you to try...back there!" Another one was the Vaginal Training Weights. Which can be inserted to strengthen muscles "in there". Advertised to help the wearer with kegel exercises to strengthen those muscles. Now, not only do you have to be concerned with the muscles on the "outside", but those muscles on the "inside". There is the ever popular Cleancut Pubic Shaver for your best lawn mowing possible; and my personal favorite...The Razorba Back Shaver designed for those men...who don't want help in shaving their backs! Wow. What brave souls those men be! This thing is about 12 inches long so that you can reach everywhere. Personally, I believe if you are THAT hairy back there, go have a wax job. Much easier. Slight pain. No messy stubble. Liquid Virgin Drops used as contracting lubricant to temporarily tighten the walls of the vagina. Do guys want to "do" a virgin EVERY night? I don't even want to TOUCH this subject. If you don't have enough package down there...you can purchase The Big Boy Package Appearance Enhancer. The equivalent of a girl stuffing her bra...imagine the disappointment in the bedroom when you take those underwear off, guys! "oh, bobby! um. i think i have another appointment right now..." as she exits the bed naked, casting frightened looks at your diminished package and runs with speed towards the door. Because no matter WHAT we say...size DOES matter, guys! Flanders Buttocks Ointment...which is quite popular with mothers to cure diaper rash. And even a game for the girls...Pin The Macho On The Man...which is self-explanatory if you think Pin The Tale On The Donkey; The game comes with poems that are to be read before pinning the "equipment" in various sizes on the poster of a hunky, naked man with his legs spread... Fart Filter Underwear Insert should be purchased by any woman that wants to line her man's panties with a filter so his farts will not smell in public! Gee ladies, wanna change THAT filter before washing his underwear? Not me! And last but not least...The Man Catcher Voodoo Kit...serious strange and spooky rituals required to "catch your man". In my humble opinion, a voodoo kit would be better if it performed evil retribution on the man, instead. I believe a lot MORE women would purchase that kit! Have a GREAT Memorial Day Weekend.

Just the Fax, Ma'am

B.L.O.G.G.E.R. F.A.C.T.S. 1/Greg ran into Chris, Kelsey’s school friend. He has lost weight, added tattoos, and is working for a construction company. Chris said he just got married the other day. 2/There is still snow on the mountains here. 3/Idaho is moved to the South Pole each night at 9PM and brought back at 9AM.

It is chillingly cold here during those hours. 4/The green pollen is about ¼ inch in depth. I can see it visually blowing in the wind. 5/After 1 week, I am up to exercising 2 hours each day on my bike. 6/Mattster & the K-Meister are moving today. She called me yesterday. 7/I had 178 emails on my hotmail account. LAST NIGHT=DATE NIGHT Chad is Bad/Schucks/Costco/Merle Norman/Albertsons/Movie-Ice Age 2

Garbage Can Force Field?

It has occurred to me that my garbage can has a force field hovering around it. Whenever anyone attempts to use it, the matter immediately hits the side for some unknown reason and falls on the floor. Erin used a new, exciting font on her layout. Honey, I Stole Your Jumper. My challenge today is to find some unusual font to use on one of my layouts that will amaze and stun! Yes. I am a font junkie. They drive me mad! In a vain attempt to feed my addiction, I roam the font websites to find the different and unusual. Pancakes, bacon, cheese, and egg. Greg loves those pancake sandwiches I have been making him. I love to cook and bake; coming up with different culinary delights that he enjoys eating. Even though he is limited on his intake, he still manages to eat the food he likes. He and our daughter especially enjoy SPICY food. I once had to cut up some peppers and just touching them burnt my skin. He popped them in his mouth and didn't once BLINK! Ah!

Cooking, Baking, and HOUSE

Yesterday I was extremely busy in the kitchen; Made pea salad, lemon cake, pancake breakfast sandwiches, and southwestern-style scalloped potatoes. It rained and was cold again yesterday. The long-term forecast show rain for the next week. Oh Goody! Started scrapping again yesterday. Sometimes are inspirational, sometimes are just blah. Blah to think about all the wasted photo ops when KRL was little; blah to think about all the photos we lost in the storage unit fiasco when we moved here. After a completely satisfying day on the computer and in the kitchen, settled down to watch HOUSE. Yummy. I really understand his sarcastic sense of humor. "I always say if you're going to get shot, do it in a hospital." Last night's season finale was an excellent cliff hanger, unlike a lot of the shows we have seen in the past few weeks.

Rain, Hail, Tornado!

Awfully frightful weather here today. Rain, ultra black skies and hail. Of course, my batteries in my camera died. Oh NO!... As Mr. Bill used to say. A tornado touched down at the southern tip of Lake PDO this afternoon and the hubby called me to warn me. Like a tornado will travel uphill and then 10 miles to our home to rip us up. Yeah. Sure. This is only the 2nd tornado around here in the 15 years we have lived here. I was only thinking last night that in all the time we have lived on our acreage, we have never seen snakes. Then TODAY, when I went out to grab the hose to clean off the deck...I saw a snake. YUCK!

Baby Album

I am preserving the photos of my daughter from when she was a baby. We took her into a formal photographer to have her picture taken every month on the anniversary of her birthday. So...she was born February 14th-my Valentine's gift! Every 14th of the month for the first year, we dragged her butt into the studio. Got 4 layouts done just today for her baby album. AND got them uploaded to SLIDE for KRL to view! She was an adorable baby. So happy all the time. Hope her hubby Matt thinks she is cute as a baby! I was chosen as Guest Creative Team member for the month of May,2006 at www.NaturalDesignsInScrapBooking.com ; which is pretty exciting. This is the first of their Guest CTs to be chosen from the layouts posted in the gallery. Also, new to this digital store is that Tammy Bankston has been added as a Designer. Just ADORE her designs. I am positive that she will have many sales as she can expose her work to many people who frequent the site. Theresa, her husband Ernie, and Anita have made this site stupendous! The designers they have attracted are great and I can only see that their shining star will only get brighter over time. Today the weather was warm again. Isabelle was outside most of today. She likes to hang around home, either sitting (lying down) on the deck...or chasing the stupid squirrels up our huge tree in the middle of the circle drive. Greg mowed the weeds last night while I cleaned and vacuumed the Bronco. The yard looks much better. Thank you, honey! He brought me an ice cold Granita from town today AND a bunch of Lilacs that he had picked. Oh. Love that smell. We sat on the deck outside (smelling the sweet horse poop-how I long for the days when we had no neighbors with blathering dogs and stinky horses...and no teenagers that rode noisy motorcycles all day and all night...and no cigarette smoke on the breeze...and no shooting guns at all hours of the day or night...) Anyway, we were sitting on the deck, just quietly talking about nothing...and a jet went by overhead. Isabelle craned her head and looked up, following the lights & noise of the jet until it was out of sight. Greg and I just looked at each other in astonishment. How many dogs take notice of things like that? We have also noted that Isabelle will discreetly watch television at times from her dog bed. Very odd. Did I say that she has learned to circumnavigate our circular staircase both up AND down? She walks very slowly and watches over the side...but this is really something! What a dog! Her odd behaviour of avoiding the hollow elevator shaft openings when we visited Spoky Joe was very odd, too. Most humans (and dogs) will just walk over anything; but we tested her. And each time, she will definitely go around, or stop and avoid...anything that is hollow over the ground. We walked around grates on the sidewalk...hollow gutters at curbs...and any ramps made of metal...that happen to be hollow - she managed to avoid them all. Such an oddity.

Hummingbirds & PeaSalad

Monday had record breaking temperatures here. We were in the high 80s; and from such a cold spring, this sudden drop into hot weather was quite a shock. I spent the day in the yard Monday and Tuesday, cleaning up more pinecones, watering, re-arranging, planting, and working on my rock rustic pathway throughout the "estate". Tuesday morning, I discovered that I was covered in bruises on my legs and my left arm. In my opinion, I think my adored husband is whacking me at night whilst I sleep. There is no explanation how the bruises got there as I did not sling rocks into myself. I carefully pick them up, load them into the wheelbarrow, and unload them once they are wheeled over to the walkway build. Hmmm. Once we get the place the way we would like it, we will probably sell...(isn't that always the way?). Greg has already started talking about moving elsewhere. He really wants to find some other property this year to start on his "retirement plan". Yesterday, a very pretty hummingbird got into the house through the sliding glass door which was left open for the dog. It flew around quite a bit in the loft, then somehow got back out. I snapped this picture as he perched on the side of the cedar wall in the loft. I woke up Tuesday morning with my right ear totally deaf. I tried to clean it out with an ear cone, but I am still deaf in it up to now. There is also an enormous pressure similar to being underwater...My right ear has always given me fits, it is just doing the same thing it has always done. It will probably give a large pop and I will be able to hear later. Monday night's dinner was pizza! Tuesday I made no-bake cookies for Greg to munch on; and au-gratin potatoes last night for his dinner. He has already scarfed down the pea salad that I made on Sunday as he ate it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Must have been some GOOD pea salad! *Doodles courtesy of www.digitaldesignessentials.com

Happy Mother's Day!

Mother’s Day. What a wonderful day. My beautiful daughter, Kelsey and awesome Son-in-Law, Matt called me from the UK. They both wished me a happy mother’s day and we chatted a bit. I told my daughter that I had received the card and beautiful European black lingerie that she had sent. Also pointed out that my mother’s day gift from her father was getting my toenails done. Usually, I will have my toenails painted - - my favorite colors are OPI Black Satin; Sinful Colors Black on Black; China Glaze Royal Tease or China Glaze Stone Age. But this time, I thought I would have french tips to match my fingers. My tootsies are pretty again!

Greg got me a latte this morning when he went on the weekly dump run with Isabelle. (did I tell you that he has a special song that he sings when he goes on the Dump Run-so cute!) He grilled bacon and we had strawberry covered pancakes, eggs, toast that I had made & maple donuts he had picked up in town. Since I had to clean up afterwards, I also cleaned the refrigerator & freezer while Greg watched his car shows on TV. As I cleaned out the freezer, I boiled eggs & made PeaSalad for the hubby. Within the cave of the freezer, I discovered Strawberries and thawed them out to eat later. Then hubby and I both washed the dog and cleaned out the fish barrel. Greg got out the power washer and washed the interior of the Mercedes. Power washed the cedar siding on the house, and all the vehicles in the drive. I picked up another 6 wheel barrows full of pinecones, and worked on my stone walkway through the area. The sun was shining and it was about 80 degrees out.

Thank you for making me a mother, Kelsey. Thank you for making me a mother, Matt! I love you guys!

What a wonderful day.

Moyie Springs-Dust, Drunks, and Dustbog

A run up to Moyie Springs today for the mud bog. Dust, Drunks, and Dustbog. We had to stop 3 times because we had cell phone calls from guys up there that broke various things on their rigs.

We hauled up tools, an axle, and bolts. We finally got there about 11:00.

Walked around and found some friends to say hello. But the place abounded with drunks and I'm sure there were about 3500 people there-3250 of whom were drunk. Lots of porta potties, but as Isabelle and I walked back to the truck to get water, we observed one young man urinating against a bus when there was a porta potty about 15 feet from him. There was one young drunk girl who asked if the dog would bite her if she attempted to pet her. Greg answered yes. But the girl said that was OK, she would still try to pet her; Isabelle did the little dancing "don't even THINK of touching me!" jig, pulling against her leash in a vain attempt to get away from the drunk girl.

It was SO dusty. The mud bog had very little water in it and even 2-wheel drive basic vehicles were running through it. The native sandy soil would have made an excellent mud bog if they had started mixing it Friday morning with water and backhoe to make it into a nice slushy, pit.

$20 was an excessive amount, in my opinion, to charge for the event. Even though that price gave you admittance to the whole weekend...how much fun can you really have driving through the same pit again and again?

My shoulders and head were fire-red burnt by the time we left after 3 hours. Isabelle was tired and dehydrated.

Not a fun time was had by all.

On the way back, we stopped at McArthur Lake WildLife Area so that we could stretch our legs. People fishing, pussy willows in the water and a spillway caught our attention. Isabelle met a little dog friend named "Dino" that followed us around. We spent about 30 minutes at this beautiful lake before continuing on home.

Greg worked for a while down at the shop tonight and I cleaned up, did laundry as our clothes were totally covered in dirt,took a shower and had a short nap.

A Tough Decision

Hokus Pokus

Sam & Libby

Michael Antonio

Dibe Groove

Mia

Flo Jos

Ellie

Pleaser

Demonia

BCBG

Candies

Colin Stuart

Steve Madden

London Underground

Chinese Laundry

Footsies

Devious

Baby Phat

These are just a few of the name brands of the shoes I wear. I adore shoes. There was a movie once that made fun of the girl who had so many shoes. She enjoyed displaying them on top of her dresser so she could gaze at them overnight and her boyfriend made fun of her for doing that. Ever since, my husband has always referred to my necessity of putting my shoes on my dresser. Gee. It’s been since March 25 since I purchased new shoes… The other day, hubby said either some of the shoes go or he goes. I’m still trying to decide. I asked him yesterday if I could more time to think about it. TOPIC CHANGE

The day is slightly cloudy. So, of course, no satellite internet access. I have to fool around, shut the system down. Unplug, unattach, disconnect; re-connect, re-attach, re-boot. There is nothing at their online site to offer assistance about the quality of service. My darling husband called to point out our ever worsening service to Hughes.net last night. Customer Service disconnected him. TOPIC CHANGE

Did I tell you the other day…after dumping all my bushels of pinecones into the burn pit, we took our laptop out, pulled up some lawn chairs, and had a fire? We watched “Blade” starring Wesley Snipes & munched on M&Ms with hot, buttery popcorn until a cold breeze became too much for us and we abandoned the out-of-doors. Doing this was like going to a drive-in movie (for those of you old enough to recall) and oh so very romantic to sit out under the stars holding hands and watching the small screen as the fire's flames danced just feet from us. A warm toasty feeling all over. You know; it doesn't cost an arm & a leg for romance. TOPIC CHANGE

When I signed into MSN.com the other day, they had attempted to re-vamp the site. I absolutely DETEST that. The site set-up is familiar to me; I don’t have to search for what I want. YAHOO does this all the time, too. Please guys, leave well enough alone. TOPIC CHANGE

Greg came home yesterday and helped to wash Isabelle. The dog is morbidly terrified of water. She tolerates standing there getting drenched if we soothe her the entire time. Afterwards you can just see that she is happy to be clean, she jumps, runs, rolls in the grass, twist, and SMILES she is so ecstatic. TOPIC CHANGE Late last night, I was working on a digital layout and inches away from being complete, I lost the entire thing. And because I had not saved it during creation, I had to start all over again. Agh~The frustration. The agony. The horror. Remember the magic word-

s a v e. TOPIC CHANGE I try to tell people I love them as often as possible because you never know when somebody will not be around. Or maybe YOU won't be around. And I'm not talking just about death. I'm talking about distance, time, etc. Whatever. Remember Patrick Swayze's character in Ghost? He couldn't use those 3 little words.... so he said "Ditto". My favorite phrase to use is Hogs & Quiches. Meaning=Hugs & Kisses. A friend says "Bacon & Eggs, right back atya!" Everybody always has a way.

=

HOUSE = HUGH LAURIE = YUMMY TAINTED LOVE = SOFT CELL = MARILYN MANSON CHOCOLATE = AMBROSIA = SEX SUMMER = HOT = FUN TOM CRUISE = IDIOT = MI3 MOVIE BOMB!

DS.Biz Can Kiss My Ass

I forswear that I will not compete or participate in any further challenges/contests. Because...yet again. I have been proven correct. It is all a high school popularity beauty contest, therefore - subjective. I do congratulate the participants that went on to week 2 and I am not bitter. BUT I do object to the layouts not being judged upon the criteria stated within the mainframe of the contest..because the one design that I observed looked like it was thrown together at the last possible second; the picture did NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE QUOTE used; layout was boring (cookie cutter); and the picture was posed/unimaginative. The layout that was chosen to go on to week 2 was chosen ONLY ON NAME POPULARITY. Not on the specified criteria of Quote-"CREATIVITY AND UNIQUENESS" "CAPTIVATING QUALITY PHOTO" "LAYOUT THAT HIGHLIGHTS THE PHOTO". The layout was again one of the cookie cutter plain boring things that are everywhere. Like driving through a suburb of ticky/tacky homes...all alike...don't you notice the one that is built differently...that stands out...that is custom...colorful? I will not be purchasing any further items from that website as I am thoroughly disillusioned. They had me in the palm of their hand and had many opportunities to create goodwill. And didn't. Wow. Go back to school. Get a degree in MARKETING, you stupid bitches! My name might not be popular; my layouts are not cookie cutter; but I have more money than I know what to do with...and I KNOW I won't be spending a single solitary cent on their site or on ANY of the designers that sell at their site! Really, you would think after so many years...I would not be so naive.

I Luv My Mom

This is to commemorate Mother's Day 2006 for me. I got this done early enough so that it can be a Mother's Day gift to my Mom. As a little kid, I always knew my mom was beautiful. This is how I will always imagine her. In my mind, she has never aged.Mom is 85 this year. Wonderful Papers are from a kit-A Rainbow Shades of Dusty Rose2 by MYSZKA, who is a fantastic designer. Myszka hails from OZ and you can find her beautiful designs at http://www.digitalscrapbookpages.com Journaling-The quote is by Madame de Sevigne from a gift book published through Hallmark entitled Mothers & Daughters (another mother's day gift) "I love you so passionately that I hide a great part of my love so as not to oppress you with it." I am planning on making a 12X12 hard copy for my mother; and also a 3x3 magnetic layout for her so that she can display it on her refrigerator.

Mother's Day & Static Electricity

The other day while watching television in the evening, my darling husband got up from his chair to go into the kitchen. As he passed me by, he bent down for a kiss. Naturally, I leaned my head back to kiss him…as our lips met…HE ELECTRICALLY SHOCKED ME. He had just his white socks on and scuffed across the floor, not meaning to do it, but we both drew back in shock and started swearing. I told him “Never Do That Again!” Which is just like waving a red flag at a bull; now I will hear about it to the end of my days…it will go something like…'You TOLD me not ever to kiss you again!'. Here it is 2 days later and my lips are STILL burning from that static shock! Today I go to Summer Sun to bake in the booth. 5 minutes until I get built up to 20 minutes a day. I am SO pale! I have never been this white color before. I look like a vampire! Totally not ready for summer. Yesterday spent working in the yard has already burnt my face in places. I picked up a total of 10 wheelbarrows full of pinecones. Saturday night we will have a pinecone fire roast! Have to make an appointment to see a podiatrist as my right foot crack has expanded and is getting deeper & more painful. I still don’t understand why my feet are SO dry. Friday night, picked up Maybelline Lash Stylist Mascara in Very Black which came with a special gift eyeliner called Line Stylist. The eyeliner is marvelous. I highly recommend both. I picked up the CDs Motion City Soundtrack’s Commit This To Memory and GooGoo Dolls Let Love In We listened to the GooGoo Dolls on the way home. I still have yet to open the CD case for the other. I attempted to attend as many National Scrapbooking Day digital events as I could. HOWEVER on a clear Spring day, with no clouds in sight; and blue sky as far as you could see…OUR SATELLITE INTERNET WAS DOWN. This is my posted LO WindowS for the Ultimate Digi-Scrappin' Contest. Sunday is the day they eliminate 200 entries and go onto week 2 for the rest of the entries. Even if I don't go on; I am still very, very happy with my LO. I like my creations. There are some B-Yoo-T-Ful layouts on the site for the competition. Tonight we roasted pinecones in our firepit and watched "Blade" (starring Wesley Snipes) on our DVD player while munching popcorn and M&Ms. It was so fun. It finally got too cold and windy out, so we came inside around 10:00pm. No photos as it was too dark by the time we went out. So just a great memory.

Good News/Bad News

Good News: Coconut Milk makes my hair very, very soft. Bad News : After treatment, all the skin my hair touches on my shoulders has broken out into a heat rash Good News: Greg finally went to the doctors to check out his various ailments Bad News: He has to have a MRI for a possible tumor pressing on his ear causing his hearing loss Good News: Kelsey & I finally got our WebCams hooked up Bad News: The feed is very slow probably because of my satellite internet; and there is a horrible interference noise on the audio Good News: I was asked to be on another Creative Team Bad News: Wow. Except for being in shock. This is like being asked to guest star on “The Colbert Report” Good News: Finished the layout for the entry to the DigiScrappin’ Ultimate Contest along with 381 other competitors Bad News: I have no hope of making it past this first week! Good News: The weather is getting gradually warmer. It was up to a balmy 63 degrees with a brisk cold wind blowing. The sun did manage to shine all day today. Bad News: The lawn is looking shaggy… Good News: Finally got Greg's b-day Present-Wacom Intuos3 6x8 from UPS yesterday Bad News: It was a week late for his birthday Bad News: Greg’s father is in the hospital in Tucson, Arizona with fluid on his lungs Good News: Sounds like he is getting better

MeanStreak

On Saturday we visited the various motorcycle dealers in our local area. Not much of a huge choice in the showrooms, but we did find a potential bike that we both felt happy with. The Kawasaki 1600 MeanStreak. On the 29th, Greg's birthday started with the annual family tradition..."Happy Birthday" song with the cupcake and candle. The special white long-johns that he loves were one of his gifts. Too surprised for words, he wolfed the first one down with milk almost immediately. He had helium balloons in the shape of a "4" and and "8" that were about 4 foot tall. Huge. Taking these and the Birthday chocolate chip cookie the size of a large pizza to the shop with him, he worked in the shop til about 2pm. Telling whomever visited that it was his b-day. Isabelle went with him to the shop and settled in the middle of the drive, sunning her belly all day. We then visited town to look at motorcycles. Stopped at Michael's to pick up a couple more custom wood birdhouses. And ate a delicious pizza; garlic, sundried tomatoes; feta cheese. With fresh squeezed orange juice to drink. A beautiful day with the weather almost at 74 degrees & the sun high in the sky. Driving down Seltice, we went through the newest subdivision on the river with its gaily colored homes. P-Yuk. Only a steal at $500,000. Crammed onto a tiny lot, directly on top of your neighbors, with tiny one-way roads it seemed like a nightmare. For nothing better to do, we toured the open-house and the interiors show advantages in some areas such as high ceilings; but a waste of space in others. The only homes with a view would be the outside ones with a small view of the river from the tiny master bedroom windows. The riverside walk was narrow and was not designed to house much foot traffic and could have been made much more attractive to coincide with the extragant homes? Not my cup of tea. Presenting the birthday boy with a card and a write-on board for his shop, he cut his special chocolate with white frosting cake. On Sunday, the 30th of April; we awoke to SNOW. Believe it or not. After Greg, Izzy, and I picked up lattes and made a dump run, we lounged around inside and watched movies on tv. It was cold and cloudy all day. Kelsey called and we had a long chat with her. My left arm started to hurt again as I was holding the phone, so I passed it to Greg so he could talk with her. Matt is in Florida doing training. I sincerely hope it is not snowing there.